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Why do we tolerate terrible pizza?

Man seeks woman, must be interested in film, pizza, breathing oxygen and converting protein intake into muscle energy.

Mark Corrigan, slight modification*

Don’t get me wrong almost everyone loves pizza, however hardly anyone seems to like ‘good’ pizza. You know what I mean, those gormless thoughts you have as you realise you want something quick to eat whilst in the chiller aisle. That aisle of glorious gourmet garbage ready within minutes, loaded with faux cheese and discs of meat. Which crust do I choose? Well you have either stodge or crunchy thin style to choose from. Either of which is almost certainly going to be topped with some overly sugared and salted ketchup sludgy concoction. Then you can choose how much of this drink-enabling disc you want, seemingly available any size you’d like up to around 2 foot across!

Pizza does deserve some of these features particularly when you look at the Americanised joyous creation that is Detroit Style Pizza. A pizza steeped in history from the 1940’s (and cheese grease, in the best way possible) which clearly influenced a lot of what we see now as common or takeaway pizza.

The fine Gentleman Chef Johns own Detroit style pizza recipe.

What makes a good Pizza?

I feel like I am opening Pandora’s box as I type this as it really is open to interpretation, perhaps the easiest way to answer this is whether it depends on what you want? Do you want a pizza that is heavy going, loaded with cheese and toppings? Or something a little lighter, more focused, ingredient orientated and made passionately? Well until recently I thought that pizza is just pizza and generally more toppings is better.

How travelling changed my appreciation of simple food

As I’ve aged, travelled and understood food my perception of what is actually good has changed. I will focus on pizza in this post as previously visiting Italy we stayed in Rome. And enjoyed a great deal food, but didn’t particularly seek a pizza fix (which actually is a daft thing to do – see Roman Pizza). However the next time we embraced Italy we flew to Bologna AKA ‘La Grassa’ meaning, literally, the fat! Not for one moment would I suggest that Bologna is precisely the pinnacle of perfect pizza. But I certainly enjoyed what we found not far from Stazione Centrale.

Those of you unsure of where to go but want to enjoy a fine cultured country such as Italy without worrying about your spondulicks, go to Bologna (there will be a post about this shortly!).

Those of you going to Bologna and want a good pizza, I mean a pizza that is actually like a proper pizza. Then you should, if not must, go to Pizza Export. Just north of Stazione Centrale on the corner next to the roundabout at the end of Via Franco Bolognese.


You may be asking what did this place do right? Well my friend its basically a case of doing things well. To do something well requires focus and reducing distraction. You can be jack of all trades, but you won’t be a master of anything (at all).

You see in Italy they protect the very things that matter to them, pizza is important and must be made with respect. They legislate in great detail about how it should be made and if your selling a Pizza Margherita you’d better be making it correctly (see this PDF). Upon visiting Pizza Export you can see immediately that your going get something quite amazing. The oven pretty much dominates the front of house, the smell of wood smoke in the air is intoxicating. The menu options are not limited, but focused. Not too many single ingredients are going on a pizza.


You see a simple Pizza Margherita is all about balance and the quality of its ingredients. The dough is tender in centre and the crust is chewy but definitely not stodge. The cheese has just about melted, no excess faux cheese grease here! The sauce is pretty much just Tomato, no herbs or garlic. It is simply dressed, prior to be being cooked, with some olive and basil only. Each ingredient must compliment the other.

pizza margherita
Buon appetito!
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Binge on this Banging Banana Cake

There are always the odd lonely banana sat in the fruit bowl going brown and sweeter by the minute. Instead of throwing them away why not make good use of them in this tasty cake.

A heavy, moist, rich banana cake with nuggets of walnut throughout. Sometimes I even add some chocolate chips, to make it even more indulgent. Perfect for on the go or as a afternoon snack on your break or at the desk.

The versatility of this recipe means that it can be done within a loaf tin or as cupcakes perfect for a celebration !! If you never have time, this is the recipe for you its all in one method recipe means that it is quick and easy…… get the kids involved !

Ingredients List

  • 1 1/2 cups of caster sugar.
  • 1 1/2 cups unsalted butter.
  • 2 2/3 self-raising flour
  • 3 very ripe bananas.
  • 3 whole eggs.
  • A handful of walnuts partially crushed.

Method

  1. Preheat oven to gas mark 3 (150 degrees celsius).
  2. Line a 900g or 2lb loaf tin with greaseproof paper. alternatively prepare a cupcake tin with cupcake cases.
  3. Peel and mash all 3 bananas.
  4. Add the sugar, butter, and flour into the bowl before adding the mashed bananas and eggs.
  5. With an electric blender combine well.
  6. Finally fold in the walnuts. This is where you can add the chocolate chips.
  7. Add all the ingredients to the loaf tin.
  8. Cook for 45 minutes then turn down to gas mark 2 (130 degrees celsius) until gold and a skewer comes out clean.
  9. Once partially cooled remove from the loaf tin.
  10. Leave to cool completely or serve slightly warm, in generous slices or as a cupcake.

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Rich & Aromatic Braised Red Cabbage

raw red cabbage

Piquant pickled aromatic braised red cabbage, that certainly caught my attention whilst trying to think of something to make to accompany some left over roast Duck. More than ideal to go with left over cold cuts or roasted meats like Pork Belly or Shoulder (along with potatoes, roasted or dauphinoise!). This a very flexible recipe as you can add or exchange ingredients to make it your own should you prefer a twist or something a little more tame. This recipe is somewhat inspired by my father who would make an obscene quantity of this slow cooked creation filling the tiny family home kitchen with an intoxicating smell!

Some people generally seem to link spiced red cabbage with Christmas, however make no mistake this is a dish that works through autumn and winter. Winter spices, acidic smells and a lingering peppery background will warm you through. It lends its self well to feeding a crowd or freezing portions for another day.

Braising is just a way of saying that something is partially sautéed or lightly fried then gently stewed. There will be a fair amount of liquid at the start however this will reduce down, along with the rest of the ingredients, into a luxurious syrupy sauce taking on a shine and coating the cabbage.

Talk is cheap, as is this filling side. Lets cook…

Ingredients List:

  • 2 Small or 1 V.Large Red Cabbage, shredded.
  • 4 Small or 2 large Ganny Smith apples, peeled and cored then diced.
  • 2 Medium Onions, diced.
  • 2 Cloves of Garlic, smashed and finely chopped.
  • 2 Star of Anise.
  • 10 Cloves.
  • 2 Knobs of Butter (approx 30G).
  • Vegetable oil.
  • 3 Tbsp Soft Brown Sugar.
  • 150ml Vinegar: Balsamic, Malt, Red Wine or 500ml sharp Cider.
  • 1/4 Tsp Freshly grated Nutmeg.
  • 200ml Stock: Beef/Chicken/Vegetable.

Method:

  1. Begin to soften the onion and garlic in a large sauce pan, I normally use our 10L Ikea stock pot, in the butter and oil. Adding the diced apple once they have started to soften then the red cabbage. I prefer the red cabbage shredded fairly consistently however you can prepare this however you’d like.
  2. As the red cabbage and base ingredients start to sweat (slight shine to the red cabbage) begin to add the aromatics, sugar and liquids. Combine well and allow it to start simmering before placing a lid on top and lowering the heat to gently simmer away unattended (but of course check and mix throughout the cooking process).
  3. Once the liquor has reduced and slightly thickened its ready to serve, usually I let it sit for 10 minutes or so with the lid on so its not too hot to scoff!

Cooking time may vary and will take around 2 hours to reduce down, however it can go longer or also be cooked in a slow cooker.

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IKEA OUMBÄRLIG Stockpot with lid – Reviewed

SKU / Part / Article Number: 002.864.13

One of those buys that we do not regret. Used frequently, always appreciated and built to last a while. So read this ikea oumbärlig review if your not convinced.

IKEA Cookware, I feel, is largely underrated, generally well priced and performs as you would expect for a long time. For example I have a heavily used and abused large IKEA Sauté pan, approx 24cm, that I’ve had for several years and is my go to for steaks and starting roasts. This pan was also the same pan I roasted a 2.3KG beef fore rib for Christmas in, with perfect results! It takes heat incredibly well, you can get it ripping hot to make the most amazing crust on any steak (there’s an article there somewhere on steaks…)

The pan is so versatile and resilient even though I have certainly tried my best to harm it, including washing it in dishwashers, searing steaks, flambe, de-glazing it without using gentle utensils and even using it on a Weber Smokey Joe with white hot lumpwood! So surely the rest of the range is good?

Since moving in with the better half we have become accustomed to batch cooking, now this may sound boring or laborious but when you are trying to save for a house with a mahoosive professional kitchen (one dreams..) then you need to be frugal, but we refuse to suffer. So to get by we will make large batches for lunch at work or sides to reheat later in the coming weeks (ready to go from the freezer), think soups or our recipe for Braised Red Cabbage.

The stock pot will hold a heady 10 Litres of what ever you’d like whether or not its on the hob or directly in the oven. It is suitable for all types of cookers including induction and the base gives a good even heat across its width so it can also be used to brown meats prior to stewing without fault. As standard the OUMBÄRLIG stock pot comes with a lid with built in steam vent which I encourage its use as it requires so little energy to simmer with it in place. It’s simple to clean as its made from brushed stainless steel and has no crevices to hide dirt. It is also very good value and unlike some others can also go in the oven.

It is a bit of a bargain at £20 when comparing it to other brands especially with its availability being so high and easily obtainable from IKEA directly. We use it so often for soups, stews and batch cooks that it is now invaluable for saving money and making healthy work lunches.

A sturdy solid performer, 9/10.

Key Features & Specifications:

  • Height: 19 cm
  • Diameter: 30 cm
  • Volume: 10 l
  • Weight: 1.85 kg
  • Dishwasher-safe.
  • Suitable for use on induction hob.
  • Suitable for use on gas hob.
  • Suitable for use on glass ceramic hob.
  • Suitable for use on cast iron hob.
  • Oven-Safe.
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Magnificently Malty Malt Loaf

A British classic (actually Scottish… thanks to Mr Montgomerie!), Malt Loaf is a perfect pick-me-up for those in a rush or something indulgent with a cup of tea as a snack in the afternoon at your desk. This recipe will produce a loaf that is less chewy but more fruit laden than the supermarket variety but still packing a malty sweet punch. The dried fruit should be soaked in a strong black tea adding richness and a little mixed spice for background. Serve preferably with butter after being partially toasted, as the loaf holds a fair amount of moisture giving it the most amazing texture. Also enjoyable cold!

Personally I’d rather go for a larger loaf versus the usual 450 Gram loaf tin (small AKA 1lb loaf tin) as for convenience I will slice this larger loaf into 12 slices and then freeze for lunches (this also works out to around 220 calories a piece, not too bad for a mid afternoon snack I suppose!).

Ingredients List:

  • 2 Eggs, beaten.
  • 250G Plain Flour.
  • 85G Light brown sugar.
  • 1/2 Tsp mixed spice, you can omit this or even substitute with freshly grated nutmeg!
  • 175G Malt Extract.
  • 150ml Hot Black Tea.
  • 300G Dried fruit, sultanas work well.
  • 0.75 Tsp baking powder.
  • 0.5 Tsp Bicarbonate Of Soda.

Method:

  1. Pre-heat the oven to gas mark 2 (130C for fan assisted ovens), then grease and line a 900G (2lb) loaf tin. You can usually get away with lining the base only, with good non-stick coated tins.
  2. Brew and measure out your tea and combine with the dried fruit and mixed spice, let infuse for 10 minutes.
  3. Add the sugar, malt extract and eggs whilst mixing well. Add the flour as well as the bicarbonate of soda and baking powder, quickly stir before finally pouring into the loaf tin.
  4. Bake for around 1 hour, checking it around the 45 to 50 minute mark. Once cooked (using a skewer to check) let cool before removing from the tin. Serve the malt loaf sliced then toasted and buttered with a suitable cup of tea.